Monday, March 28, 2005
How to (Really) Scare Children
I think there are many more people who say they are scared of clowns than who actually are. I mean, let's face it: most clowns may be strange, but they're not necessarily scary. And any scariness they do have is certainly learned; children love clowns, and it's somewhere in adolesence when we make the shift to understanding how cool it is to be afraid of clowns.
I'm on about this after following a Memepool link to Buffo's website. Buffo is not scary. He's just...different. He's the bodybuilding clown. His pictures look like a cheesy celebrity pornography picture of Jennifer Aniston's head pasted onto the body of some drunk no-name skank, or the scenes late in Mars Attacks where Sarah Jessica Parker's head is fused to her dog's body, only Buffo is the unholy marriage of Bozo's body and Hulk Hogan's arms and advertises his ability to make balloon animals AND rip phone books in half.
I wanted to illustrate the point by posting one of Buffo's pictures, where for the most part he seems not scary, just a little weird, but you'll have to take my word for it since his site (apparently not built for the possibility he'd be a blogging meme) has exceeded its monthly bandwidth capacity. There's just one picture, though, where Buffo toes the line of very scary, clinically insane.
Alas, Buffo is not clinically insane. And there are far scarier clowns. But they're not the drunken louts with clown suits and vampire teeth, or the facile morons who think that dressing up like clowns makes them interesting and edgy.
They're clowns like Spanky, the circus clown who was arrested last year on child pornography charges. Here's Spanky's picture:
And, for the record, Spanky's mug shot:
Spanky's only one of a type, anyhow. Here are some of his friends's pictures. I think they were all at the same party.
Roger Bentley, recently arrested for the death of little Jetseta Marrie Gage, who was thought by Jetseta's relatives to be a "friend of the family."
John Evander Couey, who confessed to police that he killed Jessica Lunsford.
Dorothy Dixon, Couey's sister, who lied to the police about his whereabouts.
Children naturally give trust and love to clowns, and these clowns, their devourers, are the scariest of all.
I'm on about this after following a Memepool link to Buffo's website. Buffo is not scary. He's just...different. He's the bodybuilding clown. His pictures look like a cheesy celebrity pornography picture of Jennifer Aniston's head pasted onto the body of some drunk no-name skank, or the scenes late in Mars Attacks where Sarah Jessica Parker's head is fused to her dog's body, only Buffo is the unholy marriage of Bozo's body and Hulk Hogan's arms and advertises his ability to make balloon animals AND rip phone books in half.
I wanted to illustrate the point by posting one of Buffo's pictures, where for the most part he seems not scary, just a little weird, but you'll have to take my word for it since his site (apparently not built for the possibility he'd be a blogging meme) has exceeded its monthly bandwidth capacity. There's just one picture, though, where Buffo toes the line of very scary, clinically insane.
Alas, Buffo is not clinically insane. And there are far scarier clowns. But they're not the drunken louts with clown suits and vampire teeth, or the facile morons who think that dressing up like clowns makes them interesting and edgy.
They're clowns like Spanky, the circus clown who was arrested last year on child pornography charges. Here's Spanky's picture:
And, for the record, Spanky's mug shot:
Spanky's only one of a type, anyhow. Here are some of his friends's pictures. I think they were all at the same party.
Roger Bentley, recently arrested for the death of little Jetseta Marrie Gage, who was thought by Jetseta's relatives to be a "friend of the family."
John Evander Couey, who confessed to police that he killed Jessica Lunsford.
Dorothy Dixon, Couey's sister, who lied to the police about his whereabouts.
Children naturally give trust and love to clowns, and these clowns, their devourers, are the scariest of all.
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