Wednesday, December 22, 2004
"You got a date Wednesday, baby!"
--Jesus, The Big Lebowski
I saw this figurine in a Christian bookstore. I think the staff was wondering why I was laughing to myself in the corner of their figurine department. They surely weren't thinking, "Wow, WE sure are glad WE'RE not the only ones who think this is funny," because, after all, they were the ones who ordered it and put it on the shelf to sell.
And sell they do, I'm sure. I mean, what coach wouldn't want a "Jesus is my offensive coordinator" statue to liven up their small, imitation-wood topped metal desk in the gym office?
Then I saw the others, and I realized the message was not, "Jesus is my offensive coordinator," but instead "Jesus has more athletic talent in his pinky than does my entire crappy JV team."
Take, for example, this statue, where the Holy Lord wastes the slothlike little twits on a face-off:
Or this one, where the poor buggers stand not a chance against his divine dribbling and sacred stiffarm:
Or again:
Can you just hear the trash talk? "Ooh, they don't teach you THIS in Sunday School, DO THEY half-pint!"
I saw this figurine in a Christian bookstore. I think the staff was wondering why I was laughing to myself in the corner of their figurine department. They surely weren't thinking, "Wow, WE sure are glad WE'RE not the only ones who think this is funny," because, after all, they were the ones who ordered it and put it on the shelf to sell.
And sell they do, I'm sure. I mean, what coach wouldn't want a "Jesus is my offensive coordinator" statue to liven up their small, imitation-wood topped metal desk in the gym office?
Then I saw the others, and I realized the message was not, "Jesus is my offensive coordinator," but instead "Jesus has more athletic talent in his pinky than does my entire crappy JV team."
Take, for example, this statue, where the Holy Lord wastes the slothlike little twits on a face-off:
Or this one, where the poor buggers stand not a chance against his divine dribbling and sacred stiffarm:
Or again:
Can you just hear the trash talk? "Ooh, they don't teach you THIS in Sunday School, DO THEY half-pint!"
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