Sunday, May 16, 2004
Salt water surprise
After the Omaha Royals game tonight there was a free concert, and they were giving out water, cookies, and ice cream. This was a balm, as the home team lost to the visitors from Fresno.
I enjoyed my cookie and my ice cream, though I had to eat the latter with one of those wooden paddles that only roughly approximates a spoon and reminds one all too quickly of tongue depressors and grade school field trips with small cups of ice cream. I hate how it makes my ice cream taste like a gigantic vanilla toothpick.
I was enjoying my water, until I looked at the ingredients. Ingredients? I guess I had become too used to water just being, well, water. But, no, my bottle of Dasani had a couple of extra ingredients, minerals and some sodium, added to it.
Granted, all of it comes in very negligible amounts. But Coca-Cola has flavored my water with a touch extra because they found people liked the taste better.
I love the Dasani website. It tells you, happily, that the word "Dasani" means nothing; it's one of those marketing words like "Kodak" created to fulfill a specific purpose in selling a product. It also insists repeatedly that one "can't live without it," where the "it" is most certainly Dasani, but more generally water. We all know how important water is to the human body, even if most of us don't drink enough Dasani.
The web site also has a little quiz. In the quiz you can learn that drinking loads of water won't help you lose weight, which seems patently untrue from the gleeful model who graces the main webpage as you first open it; she, though clearly understanding one "can't live without it," has obviously been so intent to hydrate herself that she's forgotten to eat altogether.
I also love that the first question in the quiz tests your knowledge of whether water--and only water--counts toward replacing what fluids you've lost. The answer is an emphatic NO, because what little caffeine is found in soft drinks and coffee is not enough to negate the proportionally large amount of water you're taking in. Brilliant move, Coca-Cola. Though I'm convinced of my need for your water--the fresh and clean mineralized taste of which is absolutely essential to my bodily functions--I feel suddenly free to indulge wantonly on your soft drinks and sports drinks, knowing that they too have the same regenerative powers at their cores. In fact, now I can sleep, knowing that Coca-Cola's got my back. They won't let anyone sap and impurify my precious bodily fluids. No, no, quite the opposite--they'll even help replenish them after my strenuous workouts and during my pregnancies, with each and every product on their beverage line.
Somebody pass me a Coke.
I enjoyed my cookie and my ice cream, though I had to eat the latter with one of those wooden paddles that only roughly approximates a spoon and reminds one all too quickly of tongue depressors and grade school field trips with small cups of ice cream. I hate how it makes my ice cream taste like a gigantic vanilla toothpick.
I was enjoying my water, until I looked at the ingredients. Ingredients? I guess I had become too used to water just being, well, water. But, no, my bottle of Dasani had a couple of extra ingredients, minerals and some sodium, added to it.
Granted, all of it comes in very negligible amounts. But Coca-Cola has flavored my water with a touch extra because they found people liked the taste better.
I love the Dasani website. It tells you, happily, that the word "Dasani" means nothing; it's one of those marketing words like "Kodak" created to fulfill a specific purpose in selling a product. It also insists repeatedly that one "can't live without it," where the "it" is most certainly Dasani, but more generally water. We all know how important water is to the human body, even if most of us don't drink enough Dasani.
The web site also has a little quiz. In the quiz you can learn that drinking loads of water won't help you lose weight, which seems patently untrue from the gleeful model who graces the main webpage as you first open it; she, though clearly understanding one "can't live without it," has obviously been so intent to hydrate herself that she's forgotten to eat altogether.
I also love that the first question in the quiz tests your knowledge of whether water--and only water--counts toward replacing what fluids you've lost. The answer is an emphatic NO, because what little caffeine is found in soft drinks and coffee is not enough to negate the proportionally large amount of water you're taking in. Brilliant move, Coca-Cola. Though I'm convinced of my need for your water--the fresh and clean mineralized taste of which is absolutely essential to my bodily functions--I feel suddenly free to indulge wantonly on your soft drinks and sports drinks, knowing that they too have the same regenerative powers at their cores. In fact, now I can sleep, knowing that Coca-Cola's got my back. They won't let anyone sap and impurify my precious bodily fluids. No, no, quite the opposite--they'll even help replenish them after my strenuous workouts and during my pregnancies, with each and every product on their beverage line.
Somebody pass me a Coke.
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