Friday, April 23, 2004
This ain't your grandpa's funeral (oh wait, it is!)
My darling mom had sent me a great link to blog, but then my web browser locked up. Don't you hate it?
So anyway, here it is. I guess this minister is offering his funeral services on the auction block. Sounds like a strange deal, and it must be pretty slow living over there in Grand Island, NE. My father's a pastor, and I've never known him to want for an extra funeral here and there. One of the good things about your business being associated with people dying--there's always demand for your services.
But putting them on the auction block is a new idea. In a way, it sort of reminds me of those drive-up love chapels that are featured in Las Vegas and other select trashy locations nationwide. "Ministers" and anyone else licensed to hitch folks have been marketing their services through this rather nontraditional route for quite some time. It's time for those who lay people to rest to do the same. This could be the start of something huge--the drive-up funeral.
I can see how it would work. You'd stop by the convenient menu to select your options (Protestant, Catholic, etc; size and style of urn; number of urns; delivery of the whole or portion of the ashes to a special scattering location [at sea, the old family farm, the botanical gardens]). Then, just pull around to Window 1, where you drop grandpa off. Next, you put the car in neutral for the complimentary touchless car wash while you wait. Then, you'd throw the car back in gear and proceed to Window 2, where you'd hear the officiant's blessing, pick up urn(s), and provide payment. Then you're off! You wouldn't even need to sit there for the lengthy tributes some family members provide at funerals--just bring the whole crew and do that in the car on the way home!
Now, I need a catchy slogan....
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