Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Prevent Cancer! Put it in you!
Here's a weird story for you. Colonoscopy parties. I've heard of Tupperware parties, and Longeberger basket parties, and even adult toy parties. But this must definitely be the new wave of "high touch" medical technologies. Imagining the invitations is ludicrously painful. "Come to our party! We'll stick it to you!"
Perhaps what is more painful is the AP's unfortunate goof in the story. Just before the part where the interviewee professes how much fun they have at the colonoscopy party, the author notes how the interviewee doesn't organize such parties to see her friends in "uncompromising positions." This is silly, because if someone drops their pants for a colonoscopy, she is not going to be in an uncompromising position. She will be in a compromising position.
Sure, everyone makes an editorial goof once in a while, but it just seems a little professionally unfortunate when it's plastered all over the internet. And in a story about colonoscopies, nonetheless. My girlfriend--you'll remember her name is Susanne--thinks that spelling is going to change, thanks to the fact that people can just have their computers spell-check everything these days. Perhaps the issue is not that spelling and writing will destandardize, but that it will turn into some bland form predetermined by the words that are loaded in the spelling and grammar checkers in Microsoft Word. That's a bit much for me to bear.
Maybe I'm overreacting to what happened in the AP article. Maybe it isn't the harbinger of our language's dissolving digital future, but does indeed come down to a simple goof. It's not like they sit around in the AP newsroom and let Microsoft Word edit out all their spelling mistakes. The point remains the same--I just need to know if she enjoys seeing her friends in uncompromising or compromising positions. The whole article is at stake.
If she knows colonoscopies are potentially awkward, then the article should read "compromising positions." But if it was meant to read "uncompromising positions," it means something completely different. It means your standard colonoscopy patient isn't bashful and timid about the procedure at all. Rather, she is completely comfortable--in fact, in her element--to have that magic camera tube all up in her anatomy. And that's an altogether different kind of party.
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